Positive thinking
Optimism
Positive thinking is about having an optimistic outlook on life. Optimists tend to expect that good things will happen in the future and view the world in a positive light. Pessimists by contrast view the world in a negative light and expect bad things to happen all the time. Studies have shown that being optimistic is good for your physical and mental health. It helps people to feel in control when problems arise by giving them the motivation to take action. This means they tend to deal with problems early on before they get unmanageable. Because optimists have greater self-belief they are more able to make friends, they believe people will like them and don’t fear rejection. Optimists also tend to have better health, whereas pessimists have lowered immune systems that makes them more likely to become ill.
Challenge negative thinking
The good news is that if you’re not already an optimist you can try and change the way you think to a healthier positive outlook.
- Challenge negative thoughts.
- Ask you self whether there is a good reason to be thinking pessimistically
- Replace your distorted thoughts with more realistic ones.
- Focus on positive possibilities and counter negative thoughts with realistic judgements and possibilities.
Obviously even optimistic people can’t be bright and sunny all the time. There are always going to be difficult situations in life that get you down. But what you can do is have the belief that things will getter better and that you can move forwards with your life.
Some negative habits
Sometimes we get in the habit of thinking negatively about ourselves, which then makes us feel bad. Here are some examples of looking on the dark side:
- Catastrophising - Always predicting the worst outcome. e.g "My heart is beating so fast, I must be dying".
- Overgeneralising - Assuming that because something happened once, it will always happen e.g "I failed two of my GCSEs, so I am bound to fail all my A levels".
- Discounting the positive - Rejecting the good things that happen to us, as though they don't count. "So what if I did well in my exams, my brother did even better".
- Mind reading - Believing we can tell what other people are thinking about us. e.g. "They all think I'm stupid".
- Predicting - Thinking we won't be able to do something or that it will all turn out badly. e.g. "There's no point trying, 'cos I'll never be able to do it".
- Everything is black or white - Thinking that if everything is not wonderful it must be terrible. e.g. "If she doesn't ring tonight she must have dumped me".
- Taking the blame - Taking the responsibility for something even when it's not our fault. e.g. "He's in a bad mood, I wonder what I've done".
- Name calling - Believing those negative labels we've all heard about ourselves e.g. "I'm stupid", "I'm bad", "I'm useless".
- Wishful thinking - Supposing things would be better if we were somehow different: smarter, thinner, older etc. "If only I had a six pack, she’d want to go out with me”.
Test the evidence
It’s useful to monitor what’s going on in our head to see if we tend to think negatively. If we do, then we need to challenge this way of thinking otherwise we’ll just keep feeling bad about ourselves.
The best way to do this is to see if there’s any evidence to back up these negative thoughts. It’s likely that, if you’re honest with yourself, the evidence just isn’t there. If you can come to this conclusion, then there’s no reason you shouldn’t start feeling more positive about things. Do this every time you start to feel down and with any luck you should improve the way you think about yourself.
As well as challenging any negative thoughts you’ve got about yourself, it helps to look at things from a different angle. Ask yourself:
- How else could I think about this?
- How would someone else see it?
- What other points of view are there?
- Is there anything I can do about it now?
Compartmentalise your worries
A useful tool is to learn how to “compartmentalise”, keep things separate in our heads, and not lump all our worries together. It’s easier to tackle one issue at a time and resolve them, as, if we look at everything altogether we get overwhelmed.
To “compartmentalise” is to put each thought or issue in a separate “box”, deal with each one when you can, but if there’s nothing you can do at the time, put it away and don’t think about it, until another time when you can do something about it. Don’t worry, it’s not about ignoring your problems or concerns, but it’s giving yourself a break from having to worry about them all the time. Literally you are putting each worry in a separate compartment in your brain, and holding it until you can deal with it, but not thinking about it all the time in the meanwhile.
You’ll begin to feel less burdened then, and more relaxed. Be easy on yourself.
