Termination
Unplanned pregnancies can be traumatic for men and women. The man can feel pretty helpless as it’s ultimately up to the woman whether to have a termination or not. There are many reasons why a woman may decide she doesn’t want a child:
- A baby could disrupt plans for work or education
- She doesn’t feel she’s ready to bring up a kid, either on her own or even with a partner.
- There could be medical reasons. In some cases carrying on with a pregnancy could put the woman’s life at risk.
Be supportive
Some men can’t cope with the fact that their partner is pregnant and they may even say that the kid isn’t theirs. This can be pretty devastating as being pregnant is one of the times when a woman really needs her partner to be there for her. In order for the relationship to go on it’s vital that both partners discuss their feelings about whether they want to keep the kid. If the decision is to have a termination, it may help if both partners see a specially trained counsellor.
A woman's right to choose
This type of situation can be confusing and can put a lot of stress on the relationship. The man may not be sure what kind of role – if any – the mother wants him to play in bringing up their child. Or the man may want the pregnancy to go ahead but his partner doesn’t. Even if he really wants to be a father the man must recognise that it’s his partner’s body and he has no real say in what happens. It’s completely up to his partner to make the final decision. Current legislation falls on the side of the female partner, so ultimately it’s her decision whether to keep the child or not.
The after effects
It’s also the case that the man can feel guilty after his partner’s termination. His partner will also be feeling fairly emotional afterwards. In most cases both will need a lot of support.
Terminations may be carried out up to 24 weeks after conception, but most are performed within the first 12 weeks. They can be performed using a course of drugs that effectively cause a miscarriage, or by having a surgical operation to remove the embryo. The physical after-effects include discomfort like period pains. The emotional after-effects will be different for each individual.
