Father facts
Facts and figures
- In 1995 (the most recent year for which figures are available) 643,608 men became fathers in England and Wales: the youngest was 13; the oldest 75+
- 3 out of 4 British fathers have their first child before their 30th birthday
- 1 baby in 3 is born to a man who is not married to the mother of his child
But …
- Almost 3 out of 4 unmarried fathers register the births of their children jointly with the mothers, and just under half are living with them
- Unmarried fathers do not have the same rights over their children as married men. Without a Parental Responsibility Agreement they have no rights at all.
Being a young dad
Being a father when you’re still young can be tough. It means making sacrifices and can cut short, or even end, plans you have for work or education. If you haven’t got your own place you could have to move in with relatives. Your social life will be pretty restricted and you may feel that your freedom and independence is now severely limited. Having a baby can affect almost every area of your life so it’s worth considering the following:
Responsibilities
- The baby is completely dependent upon you and your partner.
- The baby's needs have to be considered before the father's. If they want to be fed, changed or have their lovely little noses stroked then it’s got to be done. Try not to look on stuff like changing nappies as a chore, think of it as a good way to do some father-baby bonding.
- Kids, unlike Ford Fiestas, don’t come with an owner’s manual. You can only learn through your mistakes. If the mother continually criticises the way you handle the baby, politely remind her that it’s your baby too and try and discuss how you both want the baby brought up.
- Babies whose fathers are highly involved from the birth tend to smile more and develop faster then other infants.
- Fathers who spend less than 45 minutes a day in direct contact with their babies do not usually know them well enough to play with them successfully. They tend to underestimate their capabilities and offer toys and use language that are too babyish.
- Reliability is important. Be there for the good and bad times – your kids are dependent on you.
- Social life needs to be moderated, although it is important to keep up social contacts, and to maintain a life outside the baby.
- Life may have to become more structured, as children need the security of regular routine.
- The unconditional love you feel for your kids, and the love they get from you, puts all the above stuff into perspective.
No one's superdad
No father does a perfect job; we all make mistakes. As long as you try your best and love your kids they should turn out alright. You should love your children for what they are, not for what you think they ought to be. Also, make the most of your time with them as their childhood will pass very quickly. Before you know it these little bundles of joy will be listening to weird music, wearing bizarre clothes and getting embarrassed if you talk to them in front of their friends.
