Friends
Childhood friends
Throughout our lives our circle of friends changes.
When we were sixteen most of our friends were people we went to school with. As we grow older and start meeting people in different situations we sometimes find that we don’t have that much in common with mates we’ve known since we were kids.
Just because friends drift apart it doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong or they’ve stopped liking each other. Sometimes, for no very good reason, people just fall out of contact.
Whatever happens this drifting apart isn’t something to worry about. What matters in a friendship is not how long you’ve known someone but how well you get on with them.
Types of friendship
Although it’s usually small kids who will tell someone that "you’re my bestest friend" it’s worth bearing in mind that not all friendships are the same.
- Some people you can be very close to and feel that you can tell them anything.
- Then there are other friends who you may not feel like telling your deepest secrets to but they’re still good fun to be with.
- Acquaintances are those people you see around, and you’ll both have a bit of a chat, but you don’t really know that much about them. These relationships are not always permanent and can change over time.
- A really good mate can move away from the area and so you might just end up seeing him a couple of times a year.
- But then you can find that someone you’re only on nodding terms with can end up becoming one of your best mates.
You can have a look at all your friendships and see which category you’d put them in: Close Friend, Friend or Acquaintance. Are you happy with the results? Or are there some kinds of relationship you feel you need to develop?
Close friends
Of all the people we know we usually have a larger number of acquaintances than friends, and fewer people we’d call close friends. When we’re faced with any kind of problem it’s more important to have one really good mate than loads of acquaintances.
Supportive friends
Although they sometimes get on your nerves and occasionally ask to borrow money, friends are also a vital source of support, encouragement and advice.
If you’re going through a rough time, friends are the ones who’ll listen to your problems without stifling a yawn or looking at their watch. Even really terrible events can be got through with a good mate who’s there for you. Of course this works both ways so remember to put in the time when your friends have their own crisis.
Making friends
If you find it difficult making friends, you could try doing something like taking up a new activity or joining a club. In some ways it can be just as hard getting new mates as getting a partner. So if you’re shy you’ve just got to pluck up your courage and go up and talk to people. The more times you do it the easier it gets. Make friends with people you feel comfortable with as opposed to people who you have to put on an act for. This way the friendship is likely to be better and last longer.
