Anger, aggression, and violence
What is anger?
Anger is a completely normal human emotion.
The natural way to respond to anger is with aggression. We have developed this response so that we can fight and defend ourselves when we come under attack. A certain amount of anger is necessary for our survival.
Suppressed anger can lead to depression however, problems arise though when angry and aggressive responses get out of control and develop into violence.
This can ruin relationships and affects our ability to get or keep a job.
Recognising anger
Like other emotional states, anger is accompanied by changes within our bodies.
When angry:
- Heart rate increases
- Blood pressure goes up
- The levels of the hormones adrenaline and noradrenaline increase in our bodies
The emotion of anger causes a variety of different responses some conscious and some unconscious.
- Aggressive - Physically, emotionally or psychologically hurting another person. This can lead to behaviour such as hitting, kicking, and harassment, using put-downs, threats, murder.
- Passive aggressive - Repressing the anger by internalising and denying it. This can lead to behaviour such as getting back at people indirectly for example, by spreading rumours, rather than confronting them head on.
- Expressing anger in an assertive way - Being able to say what your needs are and how you want them met in a non-threatening way, without hurting yourself, someone else or their property. This is the healthiest way to express anger.
- Suppressing anger - This is when you hold your anger in by stopping yourself thinking about it, and focusing on something positive. The danger with this method is that bottling up your anger can make you feel like a pressure cooker and may affect your physical or mental health.
- Calming - This is when you try to calm down your aggressive feelings by taking control of the way you behave, inwardly and outwardly. Taking steps to lower your heart rate and letting yourself calm down.
What causes it?
There are a number of factors that make some people more prone to anger, violence and aggression than others.
- Genetic causes - There is evidence to show that some children are born more prone to anger easily than others are.
- Sociocultural causes - From an early age we are taught anger is a negative emotion and we are discouraged from showing it. As a result, we may not learn positive ways of coping with our anger.
- Family background - People who anger easily tend to come from a chaotic family background where people find it difficult to talk openly about their feelings with each other. Instead expressing your anger through violence and aggression is seen as acceptable.
What can you do about it?
First of all identify any situations that tend to trigger off your anger, and develop strategies for coping with them.
Some methods you can try include
- Relaxation - learn simple relaxation techniques.You can find these in books, or learn the skills by joining a class like yoga or tai chi.
- Change the way you think about things and people - When you have a thought that makes you feel angry, test it out to see whether your response is reasonable and logical, or whether you are over reacting. Find some positive points about whatever it is that has made you angry.
- Problem solving - Anger is often the response to a real underlying problem, the solution to which may not be easy, or may not even exist. Make a plan for facing up to the problem and handling it.
- Improving communication skills - If you are quick to anger and feel yourself getting drawn into an argument, try and hold yourself back. Think twice about what you are going to say rather than the first thing that comes into your head. Listen to what other people are saying and think carefully about your reply.
- Change your environment - If factors in your home or working life trigger off your anger, see if there are any changes that can be made to reduce the stress they place on you.
- Assertiveness training - Helps to develop a more positive way of coping and channelling anger. It teaches people how to express their needs in a non-threatening way. Colleges often run assertiveness training as evening classes.
Get help
If you feel your anger is really getting out of control you may need to get some help from a professional such as a counsellor or a psychotherapist, your GP should be able to refer you to someone.
References:
- Overcoming Anger Dryden,W. Sheldon Press.1996
